The Gallery of Glorious Gossip

A terrible influence on the street. Morris sits there doing absolutely nothing, yet makes every other vehicle look like a kitchen appliance. It is an insult to the hard-working toaster.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Fortunately, when Morris arrives on location the conversation has already begun.

The only attendee who didn't look dreadful in the sunlight. One can find a wife anywhere, but a 1967 Morris in Old English White is a rarity. The photographer quite rightly fell in love with the hubcaps.

To be seen in a modern vehicle is to admit defeat. Morris arrived at my garden party, sat perfectly still for hours, and said absolutely nothing. He is the most charming guest I have ever hosted.

A difficult model. I asked for 'vulnerable' and he looked iconic; I asked for 'edgy' and he looked iconic. It is dreadfully inconvenient for an artist to find something that is already perfect. I love Morris!

We never left the driveway. Morris looked at me with such soulful, stationary eyes that I felt it a vulgarity to disturb his peace. A most successful failure of an afternoon. But my social is on fire!